


Push & Pull

by animeconfession12



Category: GOT7
Genre: Boyfriends, Drugs, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Help, Love, M/M, Misunderstandings, Romance, Trouble, Understanding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-22
Updated: 2020-09-22
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:28:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,235
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26604460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/animeconfession12/pseuds/animeconfession12
Summary: Mark thought they gonna make it, they gonna be couple that made it despite the differences and different opinions. Yet, Jackson decided and stubbornly sticked to one belief that they couldn't unless one's belief is changed.
Relationships: Mark Tuan/Jackson Wang
Comments: 2
Kudos: 14





	Push & Pull

"One more." The male with brown tousled hair said sitting for the bar and fisting his dark locks with one hand, around which was the diamond clock ticking silently past 1am and reflecting the light above his head. The music died almost 2 hours ago and now some easy music was playing in background.

The navy blue shirt was unbuttoned halfly, his chest exposed with the thin layer of sweat covering it and glistening. Was it because of frustration, alcohol or because too many people were breathing in the club he wasn't sure. All he knew is that he tried to fill up the emptiness he felt inside his chest but no metter how much alcohol he drank the emptiness still was there.

The glass hit against the counter filler with dark orange liquid with ice and lemon in it as the male wrapped his fingers around the cold material and lufted the glass drinking the liquid all at once. Exhaling longly as the bitter supstance that was now like a milk or water to him went down his throat. He was sure he was drunk, and that he will most likely get scolded when he comes back to dorms but he did not care.

"Sir, we are closing soon." The bartender said and took the empty glass with him to splash it under the water behind the counter and looked at the male across the counter unsurely and as if he was familiar from somewhere before he widened his eyes in realization, "Jackson Wang..." 

"We have the same name. Nice to meet you." Jackson chuckled and the bartender shook his head rapidly pouring one more cup to other male who chuckled again softly and took it again to swallow the liquid rapidly hoping the memories inside of his head would vanish. 

"No, I am Kang Daniel. I mean you are Jackson Wang, from GOT7 right?" The bartender said with wide eyes still leaning against the counter and leaning over it to observe Jackson's tired face and big eyes circles, better say eyes' bags. Jackson although snapped his head towards him nodding lazily and drunkly his lids half closed and people could tell he was wasted but Jackson didn't feel like it. He felt like he could walk and as well had his balance to move. Which he probably did considering his metabolism was really fast.

"Please, don't tell anyone I was here. They'll kill me." Jackson said now more coherently liftong from the chair and taking the jacket from the stool and opening the vallet to take the certain amount of money from inside and place it on the counter.

"I won't, but may I ask what got you in that state?" The younger boy asked with a small frown concerned for the kpop star all the while as Jackson only shool his head. He shook his head a little to get rid of dizziness inside of his head but only one thing popped inside of his mind and that was Mark Tuan.

"Life. I would say life and love." He said softly and turned to leave none of them realizing the amount of money Jackson left on top of the counter. The brown-haired male walked a bit out of balamce until he held the wall outside of the bar with his hand and inhaled the fresh air deeply. His lungs filling with cold breeze and than he exhaled cursing under his breath. He hated the state he was in, plus he needed to walk to their dorms akd again be faced with the room he hates so much.

Pulling the small black facemask from the pocket and putting it behind his ears he continued walking glancing at the clock that showed 2am. The night long time developed the sky and was splashed with tiny drops of stars that made it look beautiful and with few clouds it was breath taking view. Although Jackson paid no mind to tha sight as he only was focused how to face the person he shares his room with? How to react with all the love and all the hate he held for the same? How to see the face of an angel when at the same time he wanted to hit it so bad? 

The loud wind was heard in his ears, as if it was playing some uncoherent melody with uncoherent words. The cars horns were heard in distance. Many may wondered what caused him to be in this state? To him it was obvious, he hated that he had to do something he did not like to but had to cause it was going against all the rules he set for himself.

Was it okay to hate Mark for choosing another path for his life? Was it okay to hate him for having the differend view on the world? Was it really ok to hate him for being the open minded and kind person? Well he did not hate him for that, he loved him for that. But just because his plans and views were getting in a way and weren't fitting the life style Mark set for himself he had to break up with the older male.

He lifted his head and was surprised how fast he actually came to the dorms, slowly entering the building and climbing to his floor unlocking the door. His steps have been much more balanced and many would have said he had maybe 2 shots instead of 7 or 8. He closed the door quietly, dorms being pitch black if not for the light that came from his room and enlightened the hallways just as much as it could help him walk to the door which he did with flustered chuckle.

Opening the door his eyes landed on the male that was sitting on his bed holding a phone and seemingly calling Jackson over and over again just so it can say Jackson's phone was turned off. The older had black hair, with few strands colored in navy blue wearing one plain white hoodie and leaning on his knees. Jackson's heart skipped a beat and adrenaline rose up in his veins. He knew he was angry the moment his eyes met the older's concerned ones and as older got up to greet him.

"Where were you? I was dead worried!" Mark said in wavery voice, it cracking on the end as if he hasn't spoken anything the whole day, which he probably didn't. He held the phone tightly in his hand and looked at clueless Jackson who just scoffed soon enough.

"Why do you care? It's not like I am your boyfriend or anything anymore." Jackson replied nonchalantly moving past Mark in between their beds and throwing his jacket on his bed before attempting to unbutton the buttons of his shirt.

"You are someone I love... " Mark replied in firm voice approaching Jackson to help him to unbutton his shirt but Jackson just glared at him jerking his flannel out of Mark's grasp and moving back so there is space between them.

"We broke up." Jackson stated, his voice cold and breath smelling on alcohol which Mark could tell clearly frowning a little and opening his lips slightly in surprise.

"Break up wasn't my call. Nor my decision. It was something you wanted and something you would consider even if I did not agree for us to separate." The older male said approaching Jackson once more to unbutton the button before he was shoved off again harshly, "And you are drunk aren't you? Why??" 

"It's none of your business okay? Leave me alone, if possible disappear." Jackson said in cold voice not even looking at Mark as he tossed the navy blue shirt over the foot of the bed and tossed the old black shirt over his muscly stature. Older male stood in the middle of the room observing Jackson's every move while the hurt was written over his face.

"You are too harsh with me. I don't think I deserved such a treatment. Or maybe I did, but was my opinion you could not understand really worth our relationship?" Mark uttered softly his gaze dropping down on the floor but he quickly lifted it ready to speak yet again with such a courage as he always had it. He was a type to be quiet but also, when he says something it was objective and truth and that's what Jackson hated in this moment as well, "Does it really matter who is wrong or right if you love someone?"

"Enough of bullshit, please. Love this love that... Explanation for everything is love to you. The life fucking doesn't work like that!" Jackson said in a bit firm voice, the coldness evident in his voice almost as if it threw daggers at the older male that looked back at him with wide glistening eyes. It was as if dagger stabbed him in the chest and he lost all the blood. That pale he was observing the pissed Jackson.

"Ouch." Mark said in a low voice as he tried to composure himself, and act tough and brave, strong but he was most likely to fail as he lifted his gaze and locked it with Jackson's. He inhaled deeply before speaking, "Well sorry if relationship isn't as easy thing as you hoped it to be. It has its hardships that we both need to get over with together, and not always both sides have the same path for the future or opinion but it's not fair for relationships to end because of that."

"They better end sooner than later actually. What's the point in having one relationship if none of sides have same goal." Jackson stated simply his irritation growing a little bit more cause all of the alcohol in his body, as he stood now in front of Mark. His brown eyes piercing through older boy who seemed as determinded as Jackson.

"Why does that matter so much? You keep on saying that we have the different paths, that we don't have future together. It just does not make sense to break up because of that. Are you just being afraid of only real relationship you ever had?" Mark stated boldly, his voice firm and without any waver but the confidence other wore was just something Jackson couldn't cope with as he swayed with his hand and slapped Mark harshly on the cheek.

Was it alcohol? Or was it he himself, he did not know. He panted a little looking at the hand that slapped Mark who had his head turned aside with dangerously red tint spreading over his cheek a bit darker on the cheek bone. His lips agape as he reached with his fingers to trace them over the burning place as one tear slid down his cheek. The sight itself was bad, Jackson's behavior was bad to the point he actually assaulted someone. He felt guilty, he never had wanted to hit Mark but now he did with all the force he could collect in the moment.

"Are... Are you..." Jackson begain a bit worried lowering his guard for a second but Mark soon cut him off holding his cheek and looking at Jackson with small smile, "It's okay... I got the message. I will leave you." 

He said softly as possible, taking the pillow and small blanket from his bed he glanced at Jackson once again and exited the room closing the door with silent click as now Jackson was alone in the room looking at the hand that had hit Mark. He sat on the edge of the bed looking over at Mark's bed that was now empty with small teddybear Jackson bought him on their latest date. The ring he got for Mark that was matching with his still laid on the nightstand.

***

The bruise that was blooming under Mark's eye the next morning got Jinyoung concerned who asked him what happened. Though on which Mark only replied that he had hit himself while cleaning, all the while softly looking at Jackson before turning his gaze aside. Ever since that incident Mark have not spoken to Jackson nor had any type of interaction.

The skinship on fanmeetings lessen, the talk they had lessen, and it was almost like as they did not exist for each other. It was actually hard for other members to miss the cold shoulders they've been giving to each other, not to mention Jackson now shared room with Jinyoung who offered Mark his room to have some privacy and space to think.

Jackson was surprised that Mark was not trying to convince him into anything, that he wasn't trying to have any kind of contact with Jackson and through time, Mark seemed to look pretty okay and cheerful as he would often go out with Jinyoung and come late at night laughing heartedly from his lungs. The two months since the slap on the cheek, Jackson haven't apologised, nor had he moved on from 3 months old breakup. But Mark seemed to get a lot better.

It looked as if he moved on, as if relationship with Jackson meant nothing, and there was not the ring Jackson had bought him. Though that did not bother Jackson much, or maybe it did but he prefered not to show it. Clenching his fists when Mark was clingy with other boys, screaming inside when Jinyoung would kiss him on the cheek. He felt a greater hatered for the boy that he felt 2 months ago. Resulting for him to become cold ass asshole who did hurt not only Mark, but members as well. To treat them like trash just because he couldn't explain the way he feels.

And after long three months after the incident they seemed like they came back to square one. Mark was not as talkative as before, he was more quiet and observing, sometimes he wasn't even there when group was gathering together meanwhile Jackson was acting different, he was more distant and talked only when they talked to him or about him. Reacting furiously on jokes made for him, snapping and even returning the joke that was way too mean for anyone to laugh. That way you could say Jackson distanced himself from the rest, while Mark became neutral someone who clinged to Jinyoung.

"Mark-hyung, do you need help?" said Jinyoung fixing his green suit and and brushing his black hair back in one go as he approached Mark from behind and peeked over his shoulder as Mark turned his head aside and nodded slowly with a gentle smile. Currently being in backstage before their huge comeback after 7 months of touring and being restless, now comeback came they were tired but were too excited as well.

"There are only two buttons, the suit is too exposing." Mark complained with a giggle as Jinyoung was pinning another button on his bare chest observing the well built body of his hyung. At least it looked like that from the perspective Jackson observed everything. Sitting on the couch in the corner and tossing one leg over another leaning his head against his hand. His navy blue suit fitting him perfectly with nude turtle neck under it. Why couldn't Mark wear turtle neck as well? Suit was showing too much?

"You are hot hyung, of course they would give you 2 buttoned suit." Jinyoung laughed showing his perfect teeth and as for Jackson he only greeted his teeth together as if someone was corrupting his teritory, but actually it wasn't his nor he wanted it back. His mind was split in two with one part that wanted Mark badly back, and another that told Jackson his goals and priorities were much more important. And that was the side Jackson stubbornly sticked to.

"Thank you." Mark whispered as he scanned himself from tip of the toes to the chest, looking if sleeves are fitting perfectly, and dabbing his runny nose with a tissue so he does not ruin makeup on his flawless face. The black haired male gave him sincere smile and for some reason his thumb went over Mark's bottom lip in such caring act that Jackson widened his eyes slightly observing the two as if he did not exist in the room.

"You had rice there from before." The male stated and Mark nodded his head sincerely and smiled as well to the male that obviously was looking for the way to touch or feel Mark. Jackson turned his head aside, it was less than 20 minutes for show case to start and other members just entered the room, BamBam and Yugyeom plopping next to Jackson while Youngjae and Jaebeom were standing in the middle of the room finishing the talk they had before Jaebeom spoke saying that they worked hard on this, and that this comeback should really be perfect.

"Of course it's going to be perfect. You don't have to have same speech every time before we go to stage." Jackson scoffed causing everyone to look at him as if he just did not talk back to leader and insulted him. Soon the room went silent and all of the turned their heads on the opposite side already being used on Jackson's behavior mean while Jaebeom and Mark still had his eyes on Jackson, and as well as Jinyoung, "What? I said nothing wrong. He does hold that speech each time, it goes on my nerves."

"Than you should just leave if you don't like to listen to Jaebum-hyung. Or any of us as you don't." Jinyoung said in a firm voice creating rather unpleasurable atmosphere before the stage and Jaebeom's lips were just agape and eyes a bit surprised and hurt looking at Jackson who cocked his eyebrow up arrogantly. He glanced at Mark who looked at him yet so softly, and as if he was guilty.

"Good idea actually. And yes I can't stand any of you, some of you are way too innocent, others are like babies in kindergarten and the rest of you are just fake and sneaky." He said first turning to Youngjae then maknaes, after that to three which are left and none of them spoke, nor dared to speak when Jackson exited the room 10 minutes before the performance.

His heart was beating loudly, his fists sweating but as soon as he rounded the corner he was calm and was breathing normally. He walked down the hallway, his hair tousled, shpulder broad but shifted down until he heard footsteps running behind him and soon he heard his name being called, with the voice he had not heard in long time, "Jackson-ah wait..."

"What do you want?" Jackson asked annoyed, snapping his head over his shoulder while his hands rested in his pockets. Mark stood there in his white suit that was showing too much, as well as some of male's private parts at the moment but he couldn't care less cause he seemed to be either mad or concerned with Jackson.

"You don't get to act like that towards the others just because you are mad on me. If you are mad on me than be just mad on me, not whole world." Mark said a bit panting, his face twisting in sadness the latter male had not seen in a while, not since he slapped Mark on the cheek and left that fucking bruise over smaller's flawless cheek.

"It's none of your business how I act. I am not part of your life, so leave me alone to do what I want." Jackson scoffed back in plain voice and Mark still had that frown between his eyenrows before it disappeared and Mark's hand landed on top of the white suit where his heart was as if it was aching before he spoke.

"It's my business..." Mark said in soft voice, without a waver but with the courage, "Jackson, I want you back in my life. And..."

"But I don't want you." Jackson cut off immediately, his voice softer than before but Mark could see and feel Jackson was still mad with him. And Jackson was, even if he gives them one more chance both of them will hurt more, and will go through even worse breakup. Cause, once again they did not have same plans for the future nor the same paths. They would end up splitting up anyways, "We don't have same vision, nor same plans for the future." 

"I can change mine, if that means you'll give us another chance. Please I will try to change." Mark pleaded in soft voice, softer than even and now it was even a bit wavery but determinded.

"It does not work like that Mark. We are different and get over the fact we are not meant to be, we would eventually break up even if we gave us another chance." The younger male said in firm voice standing in front of Mark now, his posture straighter and shoulders a bit more lifted. His hands still in his pockets and eyes gentle for some odd reason but Mark was not to be fooled.

"I can't believe you are this stubborn. Why can't we have another try? What's the real reason?" He spoke in a firm voice, decisive aura spreading from him as he just relaxed his body and was talking as normally as possible. As if two of them have the simplest conversation they had before, when they would stay up late at night, cuddled on the couch and Mark was playing with Jackson's fingers, "Can you look at me in the eyes and say that all the moments we had, don't mean anything to you? If you can... than I'll let you go... I won't bother you I promise."

"They don't mean anything to me anymore. They meant something, but once we broke up, I erased them." Jackson stated simply, he did not know why the tug on his heart was soo annoying telling him not to do that to Mark, but anyways he did it and older male stared at him blankly and then nodding his head in understanding dropping his head down.

"Ok so there is actually no point in me pursuing us anymore." He said in unusually gentle voice and lifted his head to meet Jackson's gaze before speaking, "I just don't get why are you so mad on me? You were the one to break up, you were the one to hit me, yet again somehow it all turned to be my fault? Actually I don't want to know, you can be mad on me all you want, kick me, hit me, mock me, I don't care just don't hurt other people I love because you are mad on me. They love you even though you are asshole to them."

Jackson on the other hand stood there. Looking at Mark that almost teared up and ruined bis perfect make up, he bit inside of his cheek. Was he really that of an asshole? Did his rage blind him and instead of distancing naturally he decided to push everyone from him. Although it was the only way probably that he knew how to use and distance himself. His expression wasn't changing which caused Mark to sigh deeply and shrug with his shoulders.

"Be asshole to me, but please leave them alone. They love you so much, they don't deserve it." Mark whispered weakly, his voice quivering at the end when he turned around and left the hallway to return to members. Jackson still stood like frozen in place, his eyes following Mark till they could and when he disappeared male let out a breath he has been holding.

He still was not fond of idea of him and Mark getting together, but voicing out his behavior made Jackson realize how it wasn't him. It's not how real Jackson would behave? But why did he behave like that anyways? Guilt built up his chest making one tentative forward but hesitated then. Well he continued walking back to backstage.

Everyone were waiting patiently and nervously till it was their time to go on stage. Well everyone but Mark, maybe it was good when he stepped from the darkness of the room and walked over to members. Noticing him they sighed and held their breath, Youngjae was mad enough not to look at him at all even though he's been standing next to him.

Jaebeom glanced carefully at him and sadly, Jinyoung was trying to calm maknaes down cause theu suddenly grew unsecure and anxious about the performance. It was pure mess.

"Can I say something?" Jackson asked unsurely glancing at Youngjae who looked back with deep and offended frown.

"If you're going to insult us again, please keep it to yourself." Jinyoung scoffed back, turning to Jaebeom with worried expression, "Where's Mark-hyung, we're suppose to be up in 5 minutes?"

"I don't want to insult you. I want to apologize." Jackson stated and everyone turned towards him. Jinyoung had a really sceptic look on his face while Jaebeom rose one of his eyebrows and stared at him cautious.

"Apologize? For what exactly?" Jaebeom said calmly, holding Jinyoung for his shoulder and restraining him assuringly stepping forward, "You've done so many things and I won't lie that it did not hurt us. Cause you're one of us, we thought it's just a phase and we should let you be but I think I should have punched you in a face first time you showed disrespect." 

"I agree." Jinyoung added, Jackson dropping his head down with a sigh that Mark actually was right. He dropped on his kness and rested hos hands upon his thighs. They all stared at him confused until he spoke.

"I am sorry for being asshole to you all. I didn't mean anything I said or did, I was just irritated I guess." He said loud enough to beat the loud music in background. He looked at the members who stared at him still confusinglyand surprised, Jaebeom piercing him with his eyes and chuckled breathless.

"Uhm... What's going on?" The soft and gentle voice asked from behind when all eyes now were on clueless Mark standing a little bit further than them. His eyes glossy as much as Jackson could see and nose a little red.

"Jackson just apologized for his behavior." Jaebeom said and Mark looked surprised for a second and nodded unsurely as younger continued, "And cause we are a team and family. I don't see why wouldn't we forgive you. But if it happens again you better be prepared." 

He said as he offered him a hand to lift on his feet. Jackson staring at it before taking it and lifting on his own feet. Smiling a little, he was hugged by Jaebeom as the rest came hugging them two. But Mark. He was yet clueless but from what Jackson saw, small smile appeared on his face.

[***]

"I'm dead!" BamBam said when he laid down on the floor, his shir soaking in the sweat and hair dripping wet. Yugyeom who usually is the hyper one and one with the most energy did the same. Jaebeom and Jinyoung were still giving the best of themselves as well as Jackson and Mark. All of them drenched in sweat.

For the past month situation you could say gotten better. Jackson was nice to maknaes and rest. He even talked to Mark from time to time but not as much as he used to and just because Mark was quiet and observant, rarely spoke to anyone but Jinyoung, occasionally. He would either shrug or nod, or just stare blankly before leaving to play games.

Currently, Jaebeom tried his best to nail the movements in his manical energy, Jinyoung and Youngjae too. Jackson was tired, his muscles hurted and sweat clouded his sigh and sting his eyes as he deparately brushed them with his long sleeved shirt. Pushing himself to limits as always dropping down on the floor soon and looking at them.

Breathing heavily, he closed his eyes his chest rose up and down, the pool of sweat was about to be formed under his head and his legs went numb from pain and exhaustion. Taking a towel he tossed it over his head and locked his gaze at Mark in background, tiredly following after others with choreo.

His black hair tied in ponytail on top of his head, his eyes smaller than usual and eye bags really big. Was he even sleeping? Jackson thought since they haven't been sharing room anymore. Mark used Jinyoung's room for privacy and Jinyoung shared a room with Jackson. He followed the male who tried so hard to nail the main part in choreo, his hoodie in darker shade of grey on back and around the neck.

He stopped suddenly. Holding himself for his head, when Jackson frowned deeply. His body moving quickly and running to Mark who collapsed after a few moments. Jackson catching him into his embrace barely, Mark's body limp in his embrace and head leaning on Jackson's upper arm. 

"Mark! Oya Mark!" Jackson said when others realized what happened and rushed to them as quickly as possible. Jaebeom slapping Mark on the face, turning him into shade of rose. Boy did not budge he still was unconscious, his body leaning in Jackson's embrace who weirdly squated holding Mark for shoulders and back of the head.

"What happened to him?" Jaebeom asked worriedly. Jackson shook his head clueless.

"I don't know. I saw him holding his head and then he just collapsed." He admitted.

"Call ambulance or get car ready I don't care but someone do something!" Jinyoung said hurriedly and in panic. Jackson being deaf to them, as his only focus was on Mark in his embrace. Then Jinyoung took the older in his embrace and lifted him going out of practice room. Everyone left the room hurriedly, hand landing on his shoulder as he glanced up to Youngjae.

"Hyung we should go to dorms with maknaes. Jaebeom and Jinyoung will take care of Mark." Youngjae said concerned, he himself sceptic about this as well but Jackson nodded. He sighed as he was the only hyung who needed to take care of maknaes.

They drove to the dorms. Lights turned off, only smell in the air was the smell of sweat. But atmosphere was somehow heavy. For some reason Jackson found himself having an empty head, with really sick feeling to his stomach. He frowned, entering the kitchen and only then did he notice how shaky his hands were and breath uneven.

"Will Mark hyung be ok??" BamBam asked worriedly when he sat on the sofa behind Jackson and Yugyeom standing on the door frame. Jackson tried to drink water but he couldn't bring his hand to his mouth so he sighed heavily turning to them.

"I don't know..." He uttered, he wanted to say many things but they all disappeared. He stared at two youngest members, his hands still shaky. He opened his mouth to say something but cut off by Youngjae.

"Mark-hyung is fine. He's sleeping." He said in a relief and Jackson felt it too when he relaxed his shoulders. Was he really that panicked and worried for older male? It was normal, he was a member of the group after all.

"Can we go visit him??" Yugyeom asked suddenly and BamBam joined with anticipating eyes.

"Beomie said we shall let him rest tonight, but that we can visit tomorrow when he wakes up." He replied tightly holding a phone in his embrace as maknaes nodded sadly dropping their heads down.

To oldest male it was enough informations to go out of the kitchen to shower. Showering he let the hot shower clear his mind and relax his body from tension. But one though wandered around his mind, shall he go and visit Mark? Maybe he should, Jaebeom and Jinyoung must have been tired and sweaty as well, they could use a shower too.

***

"What are you doing here?" Jaebeom asked when he opened the door to a hospital room. His bangs matted to his forehead and hoodie soaked in sweat. He was leaning on the door and cocked his head aside.

Well Jackson decided to come. He decided to help his friends with his friend, and come watch him over night. It took a long debate with himself before making a move. But he felt lighter and better when he stepped in front of hospital at 11pm and walked inside asking for the room of Mark Yi-Eun Tuan. He felt better when he saw his room and him sleeping peacefully.

Jinyoung was sleeping on the chair next to the bed, holding onto Mark's hand and Jackson bit into his lip. His chest heaved again but he ignored it saying, "You two must be tired, I came to watch over Mark, you go home." 

"You shouldn't have bothered coming we're fine." Jaebeom said letting him enter the room and walk to the bed where Mark was peacefully asleep with his head cocked aside. His black strands falling over his forehead and lips slightly parted.

"It's not bother. Besides you both are sweaty. You need shower." Jackson stated plainly, going to the other side of the bed and sitting on the edge. 

"Oof... true this has been a long day." He admitted, getting his hand through his hair and looking at Jackson who stared softly at Mark. He caressed his cheekbone and moved a strand from his eye carefully, "Doctor said it's exhaustion. He over-forced himself." 

Younger frowned, knowing Mark was the one telling people not to overforce themselves but ironically he was the one laying unconsciouss in the hospital bed. What a life. Jackson nodded slowly, his eyes snapping at Jaebeom that was waking Jinyoung up.

"Will he be okay?" 

"They'll have him stay here couple of days and give him some supplements." He replied in a whisper, "He shall not move a lot but he needs to eat properly."

"Wait was he skipping meals?" Jackson asked raising his eyebrow.

"I did not notice that he did. But doctor said he hasn't been eating properly lately." He whispered. Jinyoung groaned lazily opening his eyes and straightening himself to face Jackson with confused look on his charming face.

"What time is it?" He asked sleepy, his eyes half closed.

"Eleven thirty. We shall go to the dorms. Jackson will take over Mark." He assured the slightly younger male that was too tired to argue but just gave in and lifted from the chair pleadingly looking at Jackson, "Please... take care of hyung."

The male stared at him for couple of moments, as his heart skipped a beat slightly. He knew there was a deeper meaning behind it, although his head managed to nod on its own giving a confirming reply that satisfied younger.

"Call us if he wakes up before tomorrow." Jaebeom said while supporting Jinyoung's weigth against his and helped him balance himself.

"I will. I promise." Jackson assured i dry voice. Suddenly he felt weird. He could not explain the feeling that consumed him as doors finally closed and left him in semi dark room with his ex-lover. Soon he sat on the armchair in the corner of small room and crossed his legs to observe the boy. 

Hair messy, styled randomly but perfectly, framing his pale face. Lashes perfectly contrasting his skin and dust of rose pink covered his cheeks. Looking beyond serene while sleeping but situation itself being a sad sight of the male that over-forced himself for some reason. Blankly staring at the bed, his head couldn't quite comprehend all the rushing thoughts so it appeared empty.

Not aware of how exhausted and devoid of all possible energy he really was, he did not move. His body seemed to weigh a ton at a time and he didn't have the strength to move it, so he soon fell asleep. The next time he opened his eyes was because the small sounds of shifting and moving filled his senses. Hardly opening his eyes and straightening his posture his gaze locked with Mark's that stared at him clueless.

Soon peeking from the window made his face crunch in displease but he still looked at Jackson with his half hazel eyes. It was quiet for a while with them until younger male broke the silence, "You're awake. How are you feeling?" 

"I... I don't know. Tired but fine I guess." He said unsurelly with a long sigh, pushing his stature against the pillows to adjust properly. And as out of habit, Jackson clutched at the cushions the older guy was laying on and adjusted them casually so that Mark would lean in nicely. He sat on the edge of the bed soon, staring at older male.

"Are you hungry? Thirsty?" Jackson asked genuinely. Mark looked uncertain of how things turned out and maybe a little embarrassed as he stared down and his lap and shook his head, "You haven't been eating, don't even argue with me about that." 

He snapped his head up from where it was and eyed Jackson concerned, and a bit surprised as he pouted a little with a sigh, "Why?" 

"Why what?" He questioned, his voice hoarse, and low. As if he hasn't spoken in a while he coughed to clear his throat.

"Forget it. I'll bring you something to eat." He said lifting from the bed and piercing Mark with stern eyes and squinted them. Latter realizing there was no room to argue just nodded his head slowly and crooked a half smile on his lips. Jackson came back quickly with no thoughts going through his head as he sat on the edge of the bed and put a tray over the small table extention of the bed, "Anything to drink?"

Mark just sat there pondering for a moment with debating eyes and biting his lip, she shyly said, "Water, please?"

"Mhm..." He said, his voice plain and simple but seeing Mark in hospital gown was uneasy sight to him. Of course it would be uneasy to see your ex-lower, good friend and fellow member of the group be in the hospital. He would have felt bad about rest as well. Lifting from the bed, he wanted to leave boy to have some piece of quietness until he got water but small hand wrapped around his wrist.

"I'm sorry." He apologised, younger locked his eyes with his hyung, their gaze intense but somehow soft as Jackson read through Mark. Was he apologising for being weak? For over-forcing himself? Or for...

"What for?" He asked cluelessly and well other was not to be fooled but yet his crooked smile dropped,and his bangs hid his swollen and tired eyes.

"Nothing... I'm glad you stayed." He replied timidly while staring at his soup. Half smile appeared on his lips and Jackson couldn't help it but sink into the matress of the bed, wrapping his muscular arms around the older. Knowing Mark was taken a back he tried for hug to last as little as possible but then latter lifted his arms weakly to embrace him.

"Just get better, okay? _Members_ are worried for you." He said when he dateched and there was a bit of uncertainty on latter's face after that statement but he nodded slowly and started eating his soup.

Jackson lifted from his spot and walked out of the room. Members came in 15 minutes, surrounding Mark around the bed. Maknaes asked him a lots of questions that he tried his best to answer with blush over his face. Older members approached him calmly as Jaebeom gave him supplements. Observing from the door, Jackson would have lied to himself if he did not get triggered of the way Jinyoung swung his arm over Mark's shoulder and allowed the boy to rest his head against his shoulder.

But he had no right to oppose, or to hate any of them. If Mark wanted comfort and to feel secure in another's arms he was free to do so, as they both mutually agreed it's time to move one probably month ago. He wanted to be happy for the latter as he was. 

After a week, Mark was discharged from the hospital with the order to remain strictly still. Of course, everyone was aware that it was easiest to persuade an elderly member not to work hard or to bother, as this would worry the others. He was soft-hearted and fo could be called his virtue as well as his flaw. So he stood at dorms resting and playing games.

He would often delve into the game to notice Jackson standing in the living room door and watching him closely. He looked at him from the beginning because of the obligation he felt for, above all, an older member of the group, though as time went on he changed his reasons. He looked at him now out of sheer curiosity, as if he did not know him. However, he knew better than that and was aware that Mark had something in mind that he did not want to share with anyone. Not even with him.

But from time to time, the thought of Mark confessing about his problems to Jinyoung would go through his head and cause discomfort in his stomach for some reason. That may have been why he watched them closely while they were hugged on the couch. Or when they were playing a kid's game or watching a movie. Although there were times when in the middle of the night Jackson would get up and meet with Mark who was asleep on the couch while movie played in background.

In such situations, it would have been more powerful than him, when he would squat and watch the sleeping face of the boy. Then he would be reluctant to remember all the mornings when he woke up earlier just to look into the dormant face of the person next to him. And because of that, maybe he was secretly happy, because Mark may have found the person with the same goal as him. And that's most likely Jinyoung.

After his recovery, Mark was quick to get back to the neglected business. It can be said that everything was as before, Jaebeom regularly gave Mark his supplements, which greatly improved his strength and endurance. He was like new to the choreography, even after a month since the incident. Jinyoung was always on hand to help him, and to Jackson, as much as it bothered him, made him happy, too, if he remembered that he and Mark really weren't possible.

"It's getting closer to the MAMA, and I want you to know how important this is, both for us as a company and for you and your career. With that, I want to add some changes to the existing choreography to make the show enthralling and well received by the fans." The CEO of the company said when one day he interrupted GOT7 during their practice for MAMA. Jackson and Jaebeom were first ones to shot their eyebrows up in surprise as theu both had been aware there was a really little time to adjust to a changes.

Jackson stepped out first, his black tank top glued to his body because of the sweat and exhausting coreography that has already taking every ounce of their energy. He was panting a little getting his hand through his tousled sweaty hair under the snap back that he soon put on and squinting his eyes.

"Don't get me wrong, sir ... But I think it's a little late to make any changes to the existing choreography." He said sternly as others went quiet besides Jaebeom that agreed with Jackson.

"I don't think so. I admit the choreography is grueling, but the changes I thought I would make are mat, at the beginning that Mark would do. And one in the end for you." He said as if it was nothing, as if the aesthetics of the performance could be done so easily. Even the thought of change led Jackson to think that there was no chance he could save the power for a turn or two. Although his focus now was on Mark staring at the floor.

"I am sorry, but no. We won't accept the changes." Jackson said nonchalantly, Mark's eyes snapping up to lock with his surprised. He tore his eyes of the boy and stared at CEO that scrunched his face in displease at male's tone, "I think you sir should be aware that a good half of this group has some problems. And also that until recently, Mark has been under strict standstill as well as continuing to use recovery supplements."

"I am aware that a month has passed since then, if not more. His doctor gave his consent that Mark was able to do mat. But if you are not going to do that, it leads us to a whole other thing, which is not a health problem, hmm?" He asked with a questioning smile on his face, yet so nasty that Jackson wanted to hit him in the middle of his nose. He actualy implied they were not obedient but what he said next had Jackson's blood boil, "If so, than GOT7 shall not participate at MAMA." 

"What!?" they all said in unision, Jackson's eyes burning holes into a man in front of him and he sure would tear him apart if it was not for a hand that land on his biceps. Jinyoung holding him back and trying to calm him down.

"Okay, we'll do mat." The timid but low voice said and broke the unpleasant tension built up in the room. Everyone's eyes turned to Mark that pushed his black strands back and curled his fingers around the rim of the hoodie he wore. Jackson's lips agape when he locked his eyes with Mark that were apologetic.

"Great. I'll have coreographer come tomorrow." He exclaimed cheerfully gping over the door and closing them with a click.

"What the fuck were you thinking?" Jackson was first to snap standing in front of Mark, boy striking him with stern and fearless eyes and poker face with slight frown.

"Were thinking of all of you and how much this all means to us." Mark uttered with firm voice ready to argue with Jackson.

"Jackson is right Mark-hyung. You shouldn't have agreed." Jinyoung supported Jackson stamding behind him and Jaebeom only hummed in approval, "Yes this means to us, but we are more worried for your and Jackson's health." 

It striken him as some kind of suprise when his eyes landed on furious Jackson that breathed heavily from anger but calmed down soom enough. Yes Jackson hasn't been feeling well for the past week, he's been weak and he had felt immense muscle pain but he dealt with it pretty well. 

"I actually thought about _your health_ , but well as you said. Why should I even care, it's your health to ruin." Jackson scoffed detaching from Jinyoung and throwing his hands in the air before taking his hoodie.

"My health, my concern. Fuck off." Mark growled at him after a moment of being speechless but by the time he said it Jackson was already over the door and out of the room which he closed with loud bang.

Unlike other nights, this one was a little more enjoyable for the walk Jackson needed. Every possible facial expression that Mark showed was deeply engrained in his memory, confirming only one thing - that they were not for each other. They constantly had a clash of opinions when serious things were at stake, and Jackson just couldn't function that way.

He might even think he was wrong, and maybe he was a little strict or thoughtless. But others supported his opinion, which was probably correct. Kicking the stone on the road, he walked deep into the night as the street lights began to light. He was starting from himself, that maybe he wasn't right and maybe he should apologize. But it didn't look like him, nor did anything make sense when he finally got home.

"Hey." He freeted plainly the members that were sitting in the livingroom and eating as the watched TV. 

"Hey. Where were you? We were worried." Jinyoung added from kitchen and cocked his eyebrow up at curiosity.

"Went for a walk. Where is Mark?" He immediatelly asked, he thought of talking with older male that was no where to be found in the room.

"We kinda all went on him when he refused to give up. So he stood behind stubbornly wanting to do that mat." Jaebeom announced tired from all the shit lately and Jackson under stood but at the same time his eyebrows snapped up.

"What the fuck is he trying to prove?" He uttered under his breath quickly exiting the dorms despite BamBam calling out his name. He was deaf for anything but his thoughts that were so mad on Mark and yet so confused. After a 10 minutes he was at building and entering to go to practice room.

"What do you want?" Mark snapped seeing the reflection of the male in the mirror in front of him. His forehead covered with black headband as his deep cut tank top exposed his ribs amd tattoo on the side of it. 

"To apologize I guess. And I've wondering what the fuck are you trying to prove? And to who?" Jackson stated simply crossing his arms on his chest and staring at Mark that obviously was too scared to do the mat after so much time. 

"I'm not trying to prove anything. Just testing my limits." He said simply taking a run from the corner, jumping he land on his arms that were to weak to support his weigth as they gave out and he laid down on the floor.

"Drop the talk. As if I don't know you Yien, so spill." he retorted sarcastically hovering over the elder male that laid on the floor, "Maybe we're not lovers anymore, but that does not stop you from seeing a friend in me." 

"Yes, it does, actually." He said lifting up on his feet and walking into the corner to try again.

"No, it does not. I'm trying to understand you here and a little directions wouldn't hurt." Jackson said, his head turning to where Mark was looking at him with small gap between his lips.

"You said you know me genious." Mark laughed bitterly as to Jackson now it was clear that something was bothering latter male that acted this way. He certainly was frustrated that he couldn't get mat right, the male himself was obvious pain in the ass to him too. Mark tried to run for a mat if not for Jackson that stopped in front of him suddenly and caused both of them to stumble on the floor.

His body was hovering over a much smaller, while his thighs prevented any older guy's movements. The hands were firmly holding and pressing the delicate wrists against the floor. At any other moment, he might have closed the two sighs of distance between them, but realizing the situation and its contradiction, he withdrew. He let go of his wrists and straightened before offering Mark a hand that he uncertainly took obviously mad, "What was that for?" 

"It's late. You're exhausted and I doubt you'll be getting mat right any time tonight. Let's head home and I'll help you tomorrow with it. Hmm?" Well if you can't defeat them then join them neh?

Mark glanced at him sceptic, gripping at his wrist before softening his expression and nodding his head slowly, "Are you feeling okay?" 

"I guess." He shrugged with his shoulders avoiding further conversation with the boy as they made their way out of the room. He was sure there was a god damn spark between them back then but he chose to ignore it. Cause Mark wasn't his to deal with. After they got to the dorms, Jinyoung was quick to hold eldest member in his embrace as Jackson realized that his intentions back in the room were completely wrong.

Honesty was his forte, so he could easily tell that his frustration was growing day by day for stupid things. Which, of course, should not have stopped him, however, they became irritating with time. His focus was on Mark, who seemed more confused and distracted day by day, but with much more vitality and strength to prepare. He was initially annoyed by the tremors that go up his skin whenever Mark sighed. Not long after, the ribs protruding beneath the wide slit of the shirt became a major problem that awakened some old feeling. But most of all, he hated to deny the fact that he enjoyed the solitude in which Mark and he found themselves.

He also hated having his body work on its own. He and Mark have always been people who like to hug and have nice and soothing physical contacts with one another. But since they broke up, it hasn't happened for Jackson to pin Mark against a wall, to be too close for him to feel the heat emitted by another guy. Not at all, that he has the urge to stare at full, cherry-red lips for too long. But he did. Yet Mark always seemed too clueless to notice.

"Try once again, but this time push harder okay?" Jackson voiced out sitting in the corner of the room on the floor, his elbows resting on his knees. Wearing nothing but wide tank shirt with deep cuts and some sweats as Mark wore shorts that exposed his tattoos on knees and back of the leg, wearing longsleeved shirt.

"Mhm, works." Mark said with a sigh, stepping few steps back and running for a mat. Jumping on his arms and pushing himself visibly with all strength that he had when he jumped and did a mat landing on his feet exhausted, "I did it!" 

"You did. But you need to work more, that mat took a lot of your energy and you need it for coreography." Jackson stated lifting from his spot to walk over to Mark that was sitting on the floor now getting his hand through his black hair.

"I know. Thank you Ga... Jacks..." He quickly corrected himself, Jackson bit into his lip offering Mark a hand to lift up. He took it, jumping on his feet and standing in front of Jackson.

And again, the atmosphere became unbearable for Jackson. He was annoyed with the many little things, the first blush over the boy's cheeks, the tufted hair and the little half smile that the boy gave him trying to turn. Again the body, as uncontrollably, unconsciously approached Mark. The boy looked at him under his bangs. A little confused, he stepped back, though Jackson took a step forward. And so he caged him between himself and the wall.

"Jacks...?" He said in a form of question unsure of Jackson was doing, although not that he himself was aware either. He was inches close to Mark's face all the while staring at his eyes and there was that god damn spark again that lit inside of him. He knew Mark felt it too, but he pulled back rubbing his head.

"Sorry I was just checking on you." The boy just stared at him with squinted eyes and bit suspicion until he crooked a half smile. Nodding he went off to take his bag and hoodie as awkwardly Jackson stood in the room snapping out of the daze.

_He is taken._ He thought.

He hated his contradiction lately. Everything he advocated 4 or 5 months ago came down to the fact that it might not matter at all. Often, the scenes of Mark and him together, were running through his mind, but is it possible that he was a fool and foolishly kept his attitude. Such thoughts came at times, but as his frustration grew, he found it more and more difficult to hide his resentment towards Jinyoung. He even had his jealous outbursts, which he should not have.

He went into the bathroom after they came back, trying to divert his thoughts from the person who was constantly imposing on him. He washed his face with cold water to wake up and be normal. But as if life wanted to screw him over, not long after, Mark walked into the bathroom as if Jackson wasn't there, naked. It was difficult to restrain and have a straight face when the older guy stepped into the tub and turned on the shower. He was now irritated to this point that he could not explain. Did Mark do this on purpose?

As expected, he scanned the older boy's body from head to toe and felt a discomfort in his stomach, "You know you could have waited till I was out?" 

Mark looked over his shoulder with crooked smile. Water running down his face, neck, torso and Jackson unconsciously followed the flow of water before snapping his head aside and taking towel. He heard a chuckle, "It's not like you haven't seen me naked many times."

Was he teasing me? Jackson wondered when he dried his face and found Mark ignoring him as he continued to rub shower gel over his a bit more mascular body. As if he screwing with Jackson more, he just rubbed the place above his loin and then across the abs after which he wrapped his fingers sensually around his neck.

Jackson did not realize he was staring intensively and clutched his fists tight. Less to say this delusional act pissed him off much more than he was already pissed off on himself. Well Mark wants to play we might him as well give him a game to play. Jackson took firm step forward to the tub, stepping aside and pressing Mark against the cold tiles while water soaked into his clothes that he at this point did not care.

His hair dripped wet, as he observed Mark that was confused for a little but yelped when Jackson actually clashed their lips together into a firm kiss while holding him strongly for fore arms. He was too surprised himself, pressing his body against boy's as water went running over them and soaking Jackson's clothes even more. Moving his lips roughly together for a couple of moments he detached and stepped out of the tub. Dripping wet he groaned as Mark stood frozen in the tub with flushed cheeks.

"Games are for two." He said frustrated not bothering to spare any glances towards Mark. He exited the bathroom standing in the hallway, pool of water appearing around him when he took of his clothes.

"Whoaaa... What happened to you??" BamBam teased getting out of his room with crossed arms and chuckle.

"Mark happened." Jackson shot him a glare, but replied simply as possible despite how much he was pissed off.

"You two bonding again?" He teased some more when older started walking towards his room as small twig followed.

"Far from that actually. Besides Mark is with Jinyoung now." He stated nonchalantly and waved with his hand knowing he left BamBam in utter shock.

"What do you mean he is with Jinyoung, hyung??" BamBam asked entering a room right after him and turning his back as Jackson stripped of his boxers and changed into a clean clothes.

"I mean he is with Jinyoung. Relationship, fucking, trust, confessing etc..." He said plopping on his bed.

"Eww, I think you got it wrong. Mark-hyung does not confess to anyone here. Jinyoung-hying said he has hard time having Mark-hyung open up lately. It's like he became dull for all the problems." BamBam stated sitting on Jinyoung's bed and glared Jackson who shot his eyebrows up. He did notice Mark was out of element, and that he loses himself from time to time. But it was like he wasn't noricing it himself.

"What do you mean dull?" He asked sitting on the edge of the bed.

"I don't know if you've noticed lately Mark's not all his own. He became blunt about problems and the last time I spoke to him, the perspective of Mark's observation was not at all clear to me. I thought he was messing around with me." BamBam admitted with confused look on his face.

"He hasn't been himself ever since they ordered us to do mat. Honestly, I've been irritated from how clueless he was for some things lately." Jackson admitted getting his hand through his tousled wet hair.

"Do you think that something is up?" BamBam asked with curiosity, and bit worried but Jackson just shook his head. Maybe he should ask Mark what was bothering him and anyhow he should know whether he is lying.

"I'll have to ask him myself then." Jackson got up from his spot hurriedly, walking out of the room and towards Jinyoung's (now Mark's). He was yet confused why did Mark even use other bathroom when he had his own as addition to the room. Something wasn't adding up and Jackson was irritated beyond the point.

At this point, he didn't even care if he would knock or break into the room. So he did what was most descriptive of him, quickly opening the door to the room and stopping in halfway with his eyes wide open.

"What on earth are you doing?" Jackson managed to mutter, while his eyes were glued, to the needle that was in Mark's thigh. The older man, too, was surprised at the sudden burglary into the room, quickly removing the syringe and needle to the side and pulling the shorts across the bleeding spot.

"I-injecting my supplements, why are you barging in?" he said with a stutter when Jackson approached him and despite efforts Mark put into not letting younger take a syringe he did take it and observed it.

"Mark, for fuck sake don't play with me. I am smart enough to know you take pill supplements. So what is this?" He couldn't raise his voice, seeing what kind of eyes Mark had as he watched. They were full of fear and guilt, all confirmed by the biting of his lip. So the young man closed the door before returning and crouched in front of the other guy, "Mark, I'm not your enemy. I just want to know what's going on with you? Will you please tell me because I'm worried?"

H

e stared at him with fright, his eyes playing around but never meeting Jackson's. At some point, it seemed to the younger man that he saw Mark lower the barricades around him, and that he loosened a little as his shoulders were more relaxed. He covered his face with his hands and began to apologize, "I messed up GaGa... I messed up badly."

"Messed up what?" He asked softly as possible, his hands resting upon Mark's trying to pry down and see older's flushed face.

"My body, life... everything..." He said in a quavery voice which confused Jackson all the while, "I thought I can do mat on my own. But I couldn't..." 

He watched him for a few moments until he realized what it was. He glanced quickly at the syringe on the floor, and with some disgust, threw it as far away from them as possible into the bin. He realized how serious the situation was and how much it would become after this.

"You're an idiot Mark ... Why are you doing all this to yourself and then worrying me deadly?" He uttered when he sat on the edge of the bed and swung his arms around the elder member pressing him tight on his chest. Well he tried to fight it for 5 months now, he simply couldn't handle it anymore.

"Y-You're worried?" He said in a stutter, prying his head off younger's chest and sobbing a little. His nose red and eyes puffy that Jackson wondered why he had let Mark out of his sight at all, out of his arms, and most importantly, his life.

"I am. A lot." He said and placed Mark's head on his chest once again as older started crying. Whether from relief or sadness, younger couldn't quite pinpoint as he only held him in his arms kissing the top of his head, "I won't leave you, shhh." 

"Ple... please don't..." He choked out and they stood like that for a while until Mark calmed completely down. He pried his body off of Jackson's barely and rubbed his puffy eyes blankly staring at the floor.

"Do you have more of them?" Jackson asked softly, peeking his head down on Mark. Latter only nodded taking out the bag under the bed with 5 of small crystal bottles and few syringes. He pushed it towards Jackson and cocked his head to a younger male that dropped all of it inside the bin before sitting on the edge of the bed.

"Wh... what am I going to do now?" The elder uttered, frightened curling into a ball on the bed. 

"Recover. That all you always had to do." Jackson assured, leaning on his elbows against the knees and looking over his shoulder at Mark, "How long have you been abusing steroids?" 

"Month or two..." He said, hiding his face in the clean linen of his bed. He curled up into a ball, thinking it would ease the pain he had created in his stomach and the weight on his chest that made it difficult for him to breathe, he began to sigh softly.

Never before has Jackson seen Mark in this state. He was always the one to complain to the elder and the elder was always more mentally stable than the two of them. But now, he was broken, lying on the bed and trying to sort out everything he screwed up. Deeply, Jackson believed it was his fault, so the only thing he could do was go through the black strands of hair gently and carefully. Mark did not dare turn his head and meet his eyes with the younger guy.

"We'tll fix it Mark. I promise." He said nonchalantly, placing a reassuring kiss to Mark's hair that peeked at him under the black bangs and nodded gratefully.

The next week for GOT7 was tiring. Jackson forced Mark to admit to others his addiction, and his misuse of steroids. They all accepted it with a little shock, and all this resulted in GOT7 not going on MAMA, anyway. Everyone was more concerned about Mark's health more than anything else. So the night they were supposed to perform, they decided to make a little party and a movie marathon just to make Mark feel a little better.

On the other hand, Jackson was aware how much weight was currently on Mark's back and that he might break at one moment. So the party was hopefully the way to make him a bit cheery and carefree. When idea was suggested, the small half smile rolled boy's face indicating that he was not quite satisfied with the situation but that he was trying to be. So they all bought wine, beer and some booze as the relaxing equipment, Jinyoung made pop corns and tarts saying sugar increases metabolism of serotonin, hormone of happiness.

Mark only laughed and snuggled at his side on the couch, resting his head against the shoulder and staring at TV. His knees pressed to his chest as he interlocked his hand with Jinyoung's. Jaebeom sat next to them and Jackson was leaning his back against the front of armrest and glancing up at Mark he crooked a half smile boy noticed and acknowledged it unsure.

"Jackson what are you drinking?" Jaebeom asked holding a cup of wine and bottle of beer on which Jackson just shrugged, taking the bottle of beer even though he did not finish his previous bottle but by now everyone were a bit tipsy. But since it was already past midnight and it was their like 5th movie to watch, half of them were already asleep despite Jackson that still was looking at TV. And Mark, that lazily rested his head against Jinyoung's shoulder, yet younger male was asleep leaning his head against his palm.

Shifting against the sofa interrupted Jackson that was almost lost in his thoughts when he glanced up to see Mark barely standing up and holding his mouth with his palm. 

"You okay?" Jackson whispered, his voice light so he does not wake anyone on the couch and maknaes on the floor. Yugbam being curled together with Youngjae resting his head on BamBam's lap.

"I n-need a walk." He stuttered when Jackson lifted from his spot carefully and held his balance from how much he has actually been sitting in same position. Mark had stricken him curious glance, following Jackson that stumbled over a bodies draped over the floor. He soon stood next to Mark that had waited for him patiently, expecting his company or better say allowing.

A muscular arm swung over older's upper back and guided him out of the dorm and outside the building. The night was chilly and gentle breeze caressed their exposed skin of the face as older put hood over his fluffy black hair to shield himself although shivering a little. Non soul was on the street as street lights were weakly enlightening the road in front of them as they walked in the silence, neither of them knowing where they were heading. But Jackson followed Mark that was silent and somehow they ended up in park nearby.

It actually was much more clearer as why they came here, maybe a little clearer. This has always has been older's escape place, and also a place where Jackson first kissed him. Swings where they sat talking for hours now were empty, and for some reason Jackson remembered how Mark was flustered after he kissed him unexpectedly when he stopped swinging on swing. It was a foxy move of him but it was when he actually confirmed the latter felt the same way.

His eyes snapped aside, observing as Mark climbed into jungle gym and sat at the wooden surface above gently staring at Jackson. His eyes were half closed as he was tired to call out so younger assumed. He climbed after him against the pole and sat at the appropriate distance from the boy crossing his legs over the decks. He fixed his beanie on the head and enjoyed silence in which boy and he were enveloped. 

"This has always been your escape place, right?" Jackson just had to break a silence and lock his eyes at boy what just glanced at him over the shoulder and nodded his head gently. But that did not bother Jackson hat much as he was worried for Mark. Guess he settled to care at the end despite his and boy's beliefs. But it was too late for anything, cause he wouldn't dare to put anymore weight on latter that was overwhelmed, "Do you re..."

He was about to ask, but cut off when the slight shaking of latter boy began and he seemed as if he was crying but in fact he was just tremulous, " Why do I always mess up GaGa? Am I seeing past something?"

"What about?" Jackson asked curiously, craning his neck to better see Mark's face that was hidden by hood and fluffy black hair.

"I know others must be upset about everything but they wouldn't say anything." He chuckled tiredly and rubbed his forehead against the pole he was leaning at, "I certainly ruined possibility for us to be more than we are now..."

"It's not like that..."

"It is and you know it." Mark cut him off quickly. Well it's true MAMA was their opportunity but it doesn't mean it's their last but boy was not to be convinced, "I ruined my body thus my career as well. Once steroids wear of I will be left with some permanent disabilities... I am aware of it and I was yet I kept on doing it."

Jackson had nothing to say on this knowing it was probably true but he held on that small percentage of hope that Mark will be left with some minor disabilities as it was doing MAT. Which was good compared to not being able to dance or do anything physically. That way he may be able to stay in the group but he prayed hard that no one finds out about steroids abuse. He scooted closer to the boy and swung his arm around his shoulders as Mark whimpered a little.

"And most importantly... I ruined _us... Didn't I?" He asked cocking his head aside to glance at latter with glossy eyes and guilt written over his face, "I could have been better for you, for us. But I guess I had some delusions that we might be possible despite differences..." he trailed off looking down at his lap and biting back a choke as Jackson looked at him cautiously, "I'm sorry GaGa for not being something you deserved..."_

__

__

"Not true. I am to blame for our breakup mostly." He said after some time, lifting Mark's head by chin with his fingers so he could see his face properly, "I was wrong, and you were right. I don't know what real relationship means, nor I know how to position myself in it."

The boy stared confused and clueless of situation. Probably not expecting Jackson to admit he was wrong as younger guessed. His other hand brushed black strands from boy's face and withdrew his hands back down as he now occupied Mark's full attention, "I was cold ass, but for past five months I realized how much I was at wrong. I'm sorry for telling you this now, but I thought you should know that breakup wasn't because of you."

"Y-You're saying that to make me feel better... I know it's my fault." He said in a stutter with a frown over his flushed face but Jackson only shook his head, "GaGa don't lie to me."

"No I am not. I was never good at lying or comforting, you of all should know it." He replied sternly, his eyes locked with Mark's just to see how certain he was.

"Then... does that..." he stumbled over his own words, confusion graced his face and lips agape as no words left his mouth.

"Yes, I want to give _us_ a chance, but only when you are ready." Jackson said with a last breath he took and heavy weight from his chest was lifted when small half smile rolled boy's face as he dropped his head down at his lap and chuckled breathlessly. He nodded slowly soon seemingly more relaxed than before as Jackson noticed and smiled a little, " We should head back, it's getting cold hmm?"

"Ok." Mark uttered with small smile getting down from jungle gym and landing on his feet to walk right beside Jackson. They walked home in silence as when they went out, reaching the dorms was much more easier and lighter. Finding no one in living room as they probably were now in their rooms sleeping as rock, Jackson gently guided sleepy Mark to his room and let him inside as he stood on the door frame.

"Are you feeling even a little bit better?" Jackson asked having his hands in his pockets to which boy only nodded with crooked smile, "That's good. Good night then." 

"GaGa... uhm..." He wrapped his fragile fingers around Jackson's wrist and tugged him gently back that younger turned around with raised eyebrow, "Can you stay with me until I fall asleep?" 

"Mhm." He just nodded entering the room and waiting till Mark kicked off his ripped jeans aside and went under cover. He laid in bed and curled up against the wall, leaving space behind for exactly one more body. He shook a little as the cold from the outside accumulated inside his bones. Jackson didn't think much before he laid behind Mark, his weight sinking the mattress and his chest inch away from Mark's back.

He swung his arm over boy's waist pulling him closer to him and laying his head on his upper folded arm. His face was tickled by black strands of boy's hair a little but the fresh smell of lilies washed over him as they were laying in complete silence. Jackson did not feel weirded out by situation, as it was quite familiar with him. The warmth radiating from boy was pleasing and familiar as his bare legs brushed over Jackson's own. He only smiled, closing his eyes for a short to rest a little before he would have to go back to his room.

The morning came fast as sun peeked through the window above the bed and everything would have been quiet and nice if not for someone barging into a room yelling from his lungs. Jackson was quick to wake and lazily open his eyes only to realize he's been holding Mark the way he did previous night. Guess he fell asleep. Mark too flinched, looking over his shoulder at Jinyoung that stood on door frame stunned probably and confused with crossed arms.

"Thank God you're here. Jackson you idiot I was worried when I found you no where this morning!" He yelled and for Jackson yelling in the morning was penetrating his ears to much when he groaned and unwrapped an arm from Mark to cover his ears.

"Well you found me here, can you stop yelling now?" He asked with a frown, his side sight seeing Mark that snuggled more into sheets beyond tired and Jinyoung just sighed long.

"Sorry I just got worried. How's Mark?" He mouthed so the boy couldn't hear as Jackson nodded his head in a sign that he's been a little better.

"Tired." He whispered lightly as Jinyoung nodded.

"I'll leave you, but breakfast will be served soon if you're interested." He chuckled and closed the door behind himself. Jackson yawned widely covering his mouth and then looking down at Mark that slightly shifted on his back and looked at Jackson under the hood and black fluffy bangs. His eyes swollen and half opened as if he was not fully awake.

"I'm sorry I dozed off." Jackson apologized, tossing his arm over Mark's waist when older male shook his head and turned around to snuggled more into Jackson's chest.

" 's okay..." He uttered in hoarse voice and his forehead pressed against younger's chest, "Sleepy."

"Then sleep. It's not like we have anything to do today, but let me bring you breakfast." younger replies as he pried off of older and lifted on his feet just to look at Mark that curled into ball against the sheets. He seemed heavy to move and it was understandable, but he was not able to continue like this, not with group activities, "I... I think you should step down for a while." 

Mark opened his eyes and looked at Jackson confusingly as if of what he was talking about until he realized and just kept quiet looking down, "I know it's hard for you. But you won't be able to keep up with schedule in that state. It will only get worse." 

"I know..." muttering he buried his head into a pillow and laid there unmovingly as Jackson sat on the edge of a bed and caressed his back, "We'll say you have personal problem and that you would like to pause the contract, hmm?"

"Will I ever come back actually...?" He questioned sadly, peeking at Jackson that frowned and leaned on his knees still looking at Mark.

"It depends." Jackson said a bit unsure, older male uncurled from the sheets and sat up. His face full of guilt and regrets when he bit into his lip aware what kind of situation he created but then relaxed.

"I'm aware... so there is only a small chance I will be able return." He said looking on the side and then locking his eyes on Jackson, "So this is probably it." 

"Depends on how steroids affected your health. Cause from what I know they can cause quite a lot of damage." He said with a sigh but only for Mark to bit his lip and shook his head.

"We won't know until they wear off, I guess." The elder said with a sight and crooked smile looking down at his lap, "All in all, I am happy that I got to spend these 4 years with all of you." 

"You talk like we aren't gonna talk anymore?" Jackson shifted to face Mark fully with cocked up eyebrow and small frown upon lips, "God's sake, Mark you aren't dying. For what you know, you might not only be able to do MAT."

"Yeah... I guess you are right. But still I am glad that I met you all." He said with a half forced giggle past his lips and rub his head.

"You will come back, Yien." Jackson assured, his hand unsure, lifting to cup side of Mark's neck and brush his thumb over Mark's jaw line. The boy only locked his eyes with Jackson's gratefully smiling, "Just, don't think too much okay?" 

"Mhm..." He nodded approving and then dropping his down at his lap for a little shifting his position until he pressed his plush cherry lips against Jackson's. His hand interlocked with younger's in latter's lap and another against the sheets. Jackson gently laid him on the sheets, his elbows on each side of Mark's shoulders as he kissed him gently. The sounds of gentle and silent smacking of the lips rang out in the room as Jackson was pampering older with kisses over the lips.

He nibbled on the lower plush lip before detaching and giving an angel kisses to Mark's lids that held him for the shirt he wore. Younger fell on older's chest, his nose nuzzled in the crook of the latter's neck as Mark played with his hair after a breathless chuckle.

Everything seemed to work out as they thought it would. Mark was now on sick leave due to health problems, and his contract depended on his recovery, which was now on hold. His condition was debatable, in that he quickly was tired and fainted more often, and other days were much better where everything worked properly. Not to be of any burden to members he decided that he should probably go home to his family but after Jackson's constant argues that he should stay until steroids wear off, Mark actually rented a place nearby. Small studio with only bed and kitchen stuff including bathroom.

Jackson used to visit him often, sometimes even spending the night. The status of their relationship was becoming clearer each time, but problems arose that Jackson personally did not expect. First there were Mark's nerve breakdowns that didn't have the exact cause, depression too. Depression came from time to time, it wasn't that dangerous but the silent treatments Mark treated him with, worried him. Despite all the depression, anxiety, and exhaustion, little things were piling up. But the younger guy didn't want to leave his side, that wouldn't be fair though he didn't even think about it.

It became even more uncomfortable and complicated when, when trying to make love with Mark, he found out it was impossible. The boy told him through tears that he was unable to feel anything and therefore did not want to continue. His voice was full of guilt and sadness as he sat half-naked in the middle of the bed and began to sob rubbing his eyes from tears. Jackson thought that at that moment, bad things were only piling up for the older guy, sitting next to him and hugging him to his chest.

They tried all the treatments possible, including potency rising pills, Viagra, yet non of it worked as it should. Which further more depressed Mark which made Jackson think that it was more of a psychological problem than it is physical. But he couldn't quite know how to pursue the idea of helping Mark anyhow. Well he will have to do what he was expert at, being bold.

"You hungry GaGa?" Mark asked as he followed Jackson into small room where Jackson sat om the undone bed and rested his elbows against his knees. His stature wrapped in white hoodie and black ripped jeans as he observed Mark moving into the small kitchen against the wall in front.

"I am not. I ate, earlier with others." He said softly, getting his hand through his hair and continuing, "How are you feeling today?"

"Better I guess... Although my body pains me a little." He admitted leaning against the small portion of the wall that separated bathroom and the room they sat in. He rubbed his upper arm unsure as Jackson lifted from his spot and walked over.

"You should lay down, 'kay? I'll make you a tea I just got. It might help you." He said rolling his fingers around male's forearm and assuring him with a peck on the cheek.

"I thought to shower, I was cleaning around earlier." He said with a puff past his lips and pinched the black strand of his slightly longer hair than before. Jackson only nodded when Mark stepped aside and took clean clothes from the table in the corner disappearing into bathroom. The younger male made a tea and pulled out a small package of spearmint candies packed inside pills container Mark emptied earlier.

"Hopefully this will help." He said with a sigh and put a spoon of honey into the tea leaving it on the counter to cool down and putting a container next to it so Mark would see it. The sink was full of dirty dishes Mark probably didn't fell like doing nor he could make it from cleaning the rest of the studio. So younger male rolled the sleeves to his elbows and got to work waiting for Mark to come.

Doors soon creaked open, and Mark came out with his hair fluffy curly and over-sized blueberry hoodie paired with basketball shorts. He rubbed his hair with a towel, stepping next to the younger male and taking the small container with spearmint candies inside curiously.

"What's this GaGa?" He asked, his eyes locking with Jackson's that finished the last plate and dried his hand with rag.

"Pills for your condition. They told me they kick in faster with warm tea. So... if you are willing... we can try out?" He suggested falsely unsure of himself but Mark only stared at bottle intensively and clutched it in his palm hopeful. His lip was sucked between his sharp canines as he obviously was thinking.

"A-Are you sure this works?" He asked in a stutter still holding a container in his palm and eyeing Jackson suspiciously but since Jackson did not have habit of lying there was a good chance Mark would give in with a try.

"It's worth a try don't you think?" He said in a gentle voice and rubbed Mark's forearm. Trying to sound as convincing as possible. The boy had been silent for a while, looking at the pill bottle, questioning whether to try them immediately. He wasn't sure if it would help him, which was obvious on his face, though some part of Jackson was praying to hear an affirmative answer.

"I-I guess..." He shrugged with his shoulders popping the cap of the the bottle and putting on candy on the palm. If anyone saw it they would have thought it was real medication, but it wasn't, "Do I put it in tea or?"

"You can. It melts." He said when Mark dropped small round candy into his tea watching as it was melting before it reached the bottom of the cup. He lifted a cup and walked over the table to sit down.

"How much it takes to kick in?" Before he sipped he asked snapping his head to Jackson who had his arms crossed leaning against the counter.

"I don't really know but botanist said about 10 minutes." He assured, and Mark frowned a little, maybe Jackson's lies were out of the control at this point but he tried to have his poker face straight, "Medicine is plant-based, so don't worry for side effects."

"Oh... ok." Replying he started to sip on his tea slowly so he does not burn his tongue. Jackson sat at another chair opening the lap top and playing some random music so they do not sit in silence, while too reading random articles on the internet and debating over them with Mark. Well it was fun to have someone of different opinion, maybe having one with the same is boring.

"I admit. It's much more better having one of opposite opinion than having someone with the same." Younger male admitted having his leg crossed over another and staring at Mark with soft and caring eyes.

"Mhm." The boy sipped his tea humming in approval, lifting from his seat to leave the cup on the counter, "I agree... I... I really missed our debates." 

"Same, but honestly... I really missed holding you in my arms." He said stepping behind Mark and hugging him around the waist all the while nuzzling his nose in the side of older's hair that shivered slightly, "Shall we, love?"

"What, now??" Mark snapped his head aside to glance at Jackson that only smirked. His nose sensually nuzzled against boy's jawline and up to his ear, hot breath fanning across earlobe and behind it. Evidently shuddering he tried to detach but younger's hold on him was strong, holding him by the hips and soon pressing him against the small portion of the wall.

"Relax..." Younger whispered in low hoarse and raspy voice, even lower than his rapping voice. His lips barely brushed over the sensitive skin that smelled on orchids, and was soft under the touch. His hands held him firmly but gently against the cold wall, as bot whimpered lightly clutching onto front of Jackson's hoodie, "Just focus on my touch, Yien..."

"T-This won't work GaGa." He managed to stutter, choking out a moan cause Jackson bit him gently o the neck, sinking his perfect teeth into snow white skin, almost making puncture wound from how sensitive it was. Although he managed to shush him, the aura boy radiated with was resisting and hesitant. He was pleased he caused some kind of reaction, continuing to nibble on the meek skin of the crook as his hand caressed the hipbone under the blueberry hoodie.

"Close your eyes, and feel me Yien." He demanded in low voice, licking over the dark purple hickey he made, and running his nose up to under the ear to stick the skin between his teeth and bit a bit roughly. His right hand resting on the small of Mark's back until it lowered on the butt. Yien choked out a few moans and mewl like sound as he was confused where to focus, and grew tense noticeably.

_"Focus on my lips... hmm..."_ He whispered lowly against the earlobe, his lips sliding down to under the ear slowly and teasing to suck onto a bitten skin. His teeth sinking into the skin carelessly, implying the slight amount of pain, as his wet tongue went over the bite. Yien whimpered a bit louder, fists tight on Jackson's hoodie. He bit all the way down as much as hoodie allowed leaving red-purple patches on baby white skin saying lowly, "So sensitive huh..."

"GaGa... Ahhhh...it...not working..." Mark replied not feeling himself sexually aroused. Jackson only moved his cold fingertips from the hipbone to faint trail of abs that tightened. His hand sensually and lightly moved over the skin almost feather-like. Wrapping his fingers around the curve of boy's waist he caressed up and down slowly.

"We had just started, dear. Patience..." He said with a chuckle, pressing his lips at the corner of boy's mouth. Hoodie lifting as Jackson moved his hand up and teasingly reached the bud, brushing over it with his thumb. The body of an elder male started heating up, as it was hot to touch his abdomen and his sides grew sweaty. Boy tried to coax his moans and small whimpers bitting outside of his hand but his lips got captured in a short kiss.

"Nghhh... oof... Ga... GaGa stop... please..." He begged in broken and breathless voice, his body raising up and down with each pant Jackson loved. Yet he was no where near that stop, only continuing to devour boy's skin of the neck all the while sliding his right hand lasciviously down the thigh that contracted as silken like material tickled against it, "GaGa... please..." 

"No, Yien. I won't do that... You know how much you like me touching you... admit it to yourself and focus on my touch..." He whispered once again, left hand circling around the skin above the waistband, body heat increasing as Jackson only focused to please Yien in this moment. Boy bit back of his hand and squeezed his eyes shut, following sensation of fingertips reaching his knee and under short's leg up the thigh. He tried to suppress all of the moans and whimpers, embarrassing mewls back and Jackson was proud to notice that, when his lips and tongue danced over boy's Adam apple.

Wetting the spot under the chin, he bit once again although now teeth left bleeding wound on heated flesh as small amount of blood went down the neck in droplets. The boy had his eyes wide open but closing them shut as Jackson licked all the faint trails of blood from sweaty neck, firmly grabbing ass under the shorts as his fingers of left hand curled around the waistband of boxer's Yien wore.

"Already wrecked for me? So you're liking me touching you baby boy? Hmm??" Jackson questioned as Mark refused to give him audible answer, but only whimper and squirm under the touch, "Want more?? Of course you do... you love when I touch you like this... You are such a naughty little boy aren't you?"

His hand slid into the boxers, as his fingers wrapped around the organ, and massaged it up and down slowly. His hand perfectly dividing pressure and applying it to a tip. Working his wrist in a circles and weird angles just to hit the spots that are known to be sensitive. Yien's eyes once again snapped wide, staring at Jackson all worried and frightened clutching onto latter's chest.

"Stop... Please just stop Jackson!" He said as he pushed Jackson with his sweater paws. Jackson stumbled back a little.

"No!" He now pushed Yien roughly against the wall and mercilessly grabbed the organ over the shorts with determined and lustful eyes, his palm hitting the wall beside Mark's head flat as their faces were so close. Only then did he feel something twitch in his palm, that brought his attention down from Mark's fearful eyes and see that he was holding semi-hard cock over the shorts. Did Mark find violence a turn on? He chuckled breathless, "Did... Oh damn..."

"I told you to stop!" Mark cried out, tears leaving his eyes as he brushed them off as once again he was pinned to the wall, yet this time much gently.

"But it's better that I didn't." He said, pressing a loving kiss upon abused cherry plump ones leading them into a gentle waltz. Jackson's hands holding Mark like a baby for the time that they kissed, detaching to stare deeply into Mark's eyes, "We better use it before it disappears huh?"

"You're an idiot..." Mark finally laughed, clashing his lips against Jackson's and wrapping his legs around latter's waist. He did not contain at this moment, he only devoured younger's lips like he hasn't been for months all the while both of them walking to the bed where Mark was threw with a bounce and moan.

"Since you're turned on by aggression why don't we give you some." He chuckled, taking off his belt, Mark staring at him confused sprawled over the bed. He yanked his hand spanking Mark over his exposed milky white thigh as he yelped.

"Jackson!" He warned as red mark appeared on his thigh and stings of pain stricken him straight to his loin as he twitched and held for his stomach.

"Don't you Jackson me...Strip off, baby boy." Younger male crossed his arms against his chest as belt hung from one of his hands. Mark stared with a frown at him, gripping the edges of his blueberry hoodie and pulling it off and tossing it aside on the floor as his blank canvas were presented to Jackson, "Good boy." 

The atmosphere thickened, younger male peeled off his hoodie and threw it on the floor, sinking his knee into the mattress he came to hover over Mark. His eyes hungry and lusty, salivating his lips as predator would eyeing its pray and then pressed not so gentle kiss against Mark's lips. Abusing them instantly, he did not care, even after a whimper Mark left, younger continued to nibble and bite on his delicious lips resting his arms on each side of Mark.

Moaning quietly, older male was harshly pressed against the sheets with Jackson sucking onto his neck and holding his delicate skin between his sharp teeth. Even the slightest pressure would bruise the blank canvas, but non of them cared enough. Tingly sensation came to Jackson's hair, until he felt pain and nothing but it as older yanked his hair which did not detach Jackson from delicious and salty skin of the neck.

His lips only trailed lower, over the collarbones, biting the skin that could have been pulled between his almost bloody and sinister like maws. As much pain as he caused that much pleasure older boy seemed to receive as he was whimpering and moaning quietly as he has never been much of a vocal. Biting the back of his hand. Him holding back was always for Jackson a huge turn on as he bit sides of perfectly curved waist and sucked on the hipbone, sinking his teeth into a flesh.

"G-God damn it GaGa... ahhh...." Mark cried out in pleasure, spreading his legs wider so Jackson could nestle in between comfortably palming his still semi-hard on through the rough material of boxers. His lips still attached to hip and his hand moving into circular motion, feeling the twitch every time he caused a pain to Yien.

He brought himself up, his lips connecting with Mark's that whimpered and moaned gently. Muscular arms sneaking up slowly against inner side of boy's arms that were now above his head and held them down as he kissed Mark passionately.

"We just began, Yien..." He said in low husky voice, pressing his hand dangerously rough down and Mark arched his back from the sheet with moan leaving past his lips. Jackson hooked his fingers on waistband of boxers and shorts, sliding them down as older lifted his hips for support and kicked the garment aside exposing his half erected cock to Jackson, "C'mon baby boy, is that all you got?"

"Is that all _you_ got?" He questioned breathless, with a chuckle, his hands to sheets when he pulled up against the pillows with spread legs awaiting for Jackson. Younger just received low punch at his ego that slightly irritated him but also turned him on. He laughed bitterly, smirking and leaning down to kiss Mark on the lips, wrapping his hand around the belt as another held Mark for his hip. Mercilessly flipping him on the the stomach and spending no time thinking when he spanked him over the butt.

"Ahhhhh.... Fuck!" The boy choked out, feeling a weight on his knees and his arms being pulled back on his back. It took him a second to realize what younger had in mind as now his hands were tied with shirt Jackson took from the edge of the bed. His curly strands prevented him from seeing younger male properly. All he knew he couldn't move freely only squirm at hands that trailed down his sides like ghost or gentle breeze, "Jackson what the fuck?!"

"You'll see what do I got naughty little thing..." he warned in husky voice, his legs locked Mark's as he started ticklishly rub his fingers at spots he knew older was over-sensitive. The muscles of boy's back started flexing and body squirming under Jackson that ticked his sides, ribs, thighs and like a devil he is sneaking his hand under to tickle area around the loin.

"Ahhh...fuck, fuck... stop you... idiot... oh god!" He squirmed in all kinds of positions and moaned breathless while his arousal for weird reason only arose and his body grew more heated with every second. Jackson's hard was tightly held by the jeans but he did not budge only wanting to extend the foreplay and heat the atmosphere as much as possible. Belt that was wrapped around his knuckles spanked Mark over his left butt cheek leaving a serious red mark over his sweaty and delicate white skin, "Mhmmm... fuck... hit me more...nghh..."

"Sure I will, but uhh... you have to beg for that..." Jackson only laughed un-caging boy's legs and lifting his butt in air, Mark burying his head into the sheets and wriggled with his butt that younger refused to spank. Only circularly groping the hand full of flesh and lightly slapping it, alluring the moan from older's lips. Loving the sound of quiet moans he repeated his motions, ever so slow until electric like shock obviously ran boy's body and he almost collapsed on the sheets, "Help yourself En... do what you are demanded of... Be obedient whore you are..."

"Daddy... ugh... hit me please, please!" he choked out after the moan, rubbing his butt against the front of Jackson's jeans and moaning into the pillow. Of course he complied as belt spanked him few times in the raw each time alluring delicious screams followed with more delicious moans. Mark squirmed, his legs trying to press together and ease the pain of his now fully erected dick that dripped.

"Do you wand daddy to fuck you? Hmm princess?" He asked undoing his jeans and pulling out his throbbing cock. Mark's hands reached as much as they can to massage the hardened organ with his cold fingers that got Jackson to groan and thrust forward and throw his head back at the way cold fingers played with his tip.

"Please daddy..." Mark managed to utter into a pillow with a smirk on his face. Jackson couldn't simply wait anymore, stripping out of the clothes he grabbed Mark's butt and ground between the cheeks, slapping the side of the butt. Leaning his hand went up Mark's neck and to his lips as older licked it, sucking on the fingers and salivating them with great amount of saliva produced in great pleasure he was that id dripped down his chin.

"That's right baby boy... lube them good they gon' fuck your warm hole well." Jackson teased, his hand wrapped around boy's cock and pumped it gently, boy choking on the saliva and fingers, squinting his eyes tight, "They gon fill you well... before I get to feel you after so... so... long..." He whispered into his ear lowly and flipped him over when Mark let out pleasing moan. Body lathered with red patches and sweat all over, ribs popped up from the way older male was laying on his tied hands with spread legs. His hard on against his stomach of which younger was proud of, " You deserved a prize baby."

He undid Mark's hands that immediately wrapped around his neck, bruised around the wrist and boy breathing heavily his breath fanning across Jackson's neck that took him on his lap, rubbing against the rim of muscles before slipping once finger in. Mark moaned against his ear and hugged him tight. Insides were warm and squishy as he guess lubed by themselves and contracting to squeeze finger out. Although Jackson added second quickly and third soon after stretching Mark open that moaned and squirmed in his embrace.

"GaGa... please... please... let me feel you..." He whispered breathless as Jackson removed his fingers pumping his member before he slid in easily, surrounded by tightness and warmth of Mark's insides. "Ahhh... Gosh GaGa... so big it hurts..."

"It shall pas princess... focus on me and move your hips when you are ready.." he whispered lowly, sucking onto the salty skin already lathered with patches he went over again. Soon after that Mark started rocking his hips up and down, ever so slowly but enough to fell immense pleasure through his body that heated and radiated warmth onto latter's. Jackson only held him gently for the back and sneaked on hand to rub him gently over the tip, "That's right En... Lemme see you..."

Mark moaned, his head pulling back so his glossy eyes met Jackson's who kissed him on abused lips. Tongue salivated boy's lower lip and was quickly granted an access. Their lips danced perfectly against one another, relaxing older male a bit more and letting himself increase the pace he rode at. He went up and down, younger's hips meeting him in the middle all the while kissing him passionately. He switched positions when he noticed it was hard for Mark to keep up. He laid him on the sheets, still kissing him.

"Ahhhh... right there GaGa....uh... please..." he broke the kiss to moan a bit louder and throw his head back into pillows when Jackson bend him in half, pushing his hips in a quick motion at one spot he assumed will make Mark to curl his toes and arch his back. He assumed right, although he did not expect a loud cry out and some of sperm to spurt out male's cock when he arched his back in perfect arch. He now was crying, confused with reaction Jackson stopped his movements, concerned, "Don't you dare stop now!"

"Understood." Smirk grew on Jackson's lips as he smacked his hips harshly once again receiving another arch, continuing to thrust his hips without mercy. He held Mark's bruised hips and factually pushing him onto his length and fucking him as he never did before. Usually they fucked gentle on switch, cause Mark was delicate soul and did not quite prefer rough but now literally screaming from pleasure and arching his back. Younger wrapped his hand around older's cock and pumped it in pace with his hips.

"Oh god!!! Jackson don't.....ugh shit .... don't stop... I'll come!" Mark yelled from his lungs, his head going back even further as he gripped the sheets and locked his tattooed legs around Jackson's waist and moved his hips in sync with younger. Both of them sweaty and panting heavily, younger grunted with each thrust until he finally hit the over sensitive spot and Mark screamed. White spurts of cum came out of his cock, on Jackson's hand and his abdomen. Jackson himself draining inside of Mar k and moving his hips until heat disappeared that he plopped on top of boy.

"God damn it Tuan you are too hot for me..." Jackson uttered catching onto his breath and his breath fanning across older's jawline and sweaty abused neck. Mark too breathed heavily, eyes closed from after bliss. His hips still slightly trembled under Jackson who rolled on the side, his arm around Mark's waist, snuggling at his side and pressing a gentle kiss onto latter's cheek.

"That... ugh... was unexpected... damn." Mark uttered breathless, looking down at his stomach and mess over it and Jackson's hand as he slightly grossed out from how much he came, "Mind handing me... uh the shirt?"

"Sure." Jackson untangled and handed him a squished shirt from before and helped him clean by licking all the semen from his hand with teasing hum leaving his lips and a Mark snapped his eyes on him, "Can't remember when you tasted this sweet... I like it."

"Jackson! Don't say such embarrassing things!" Mark hit him on the chest and all flushed from embarrassment.

"Well they are less embarrassing than things you spilled earlier. Aren't I right?" Jackson teased, kissing Mark on the shoulder and nuzzling against it softly. Boy only laughed quietly and leaned his head upon Jackson's.

"I guess you are right... Guess your medicine worked. Thank you GaGa... it was amazing to be able to feel again..." He said with cheery and exhausted voice on which Jackson widened his eyes. Forgetting about spearmint candies he used to fool Mark with. Biting back a laugh he only chuckled, "What's so funny?"

"Nothing, I'm glad you were able to enjoy" He said and pressed a firm kiss on boy's lips to prevent him from further questioning. Going for over an hour which did not seem so until tiredness kicked in. Their lips melted together and only thought on Jackson's mind was:

_There's no way in hell I'm gonna tell him._


End file.
